Dass Extra Credit 2

“We also see how uncomfortable we may be about many of the desires situations call forth—our need to appear responsible, useful, powerful, moral, worthy, needed, and so on.” (Dass 188) I think many people have this problem—they wish to help, but once the time comes for them to actually step up and take the role as a leader (because in some ways, I think leadership is a part of helping), they are immediately regretful of this new responsibility. “Helping out gets heavy”, and I can present the example of being an extremely busy and involved college student. I find myself constantly running from obligation to obligation every day, and barely even have time for my friends during the week. This is how much of America operates; businessmen rushing to their meetings, mothers running to get their kids from school, drivers who are in a hurry to get home—all of these people who make up our society have very little time to spare. Stopping to help someone, or even taking time out of a busy schedule to make the effort to help is just too much for some people.

“Looking more closely still, we might notice how we tend to manipulate people towards the fulfillment of our own motives and needs—and perhaps go on to justify this in the name of good intentions or “what’s right for others.” (Dass 189) I can think of several instances in which I had to fulfill my 100+ hours of community service in order to graduate high school. When I went to actually volunteer, I did not really have any emotional ties to the organization. I rarely even knew the causes in which I was participating, and when I think back on all the volunteering I did, it seems that I was not doing it out of the compassion of my own heart, but for the hours I needed. I was using the mask of “good intentions” for my own gains.

Dass addresses this problem in his book. He states, “Rather, we’re loosening our attachment to our motives by stepping behind them.” (Dass 193) The next time I volunteer, I should try to focus on the fact that my actions are aiding other people, rather than on the hours I am getting. This attitude will not only make me perform better, but engage me more emotionally.

There is also the concern that someone is taking advantage of your generous nature. When I was in middle school, one of my best friends had trouble in math class, so every morning; she and I would compare homework answers. Soon, it got to be that I was helping her do her homework in the morning, and finally, she was simply copying the answers from me. I thought I was being helpful, but looking back on it, I realize that I could have been a bit of a pushover. That is why I am sometimes reluctant to help, because I am suspicious of a person’s intent. Again, this is something that I think that a lot of people can relate to—you’re putting your services out there, and hoping that people aren’t just using you.