Siddhartha and Buddhism

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When I read my old middle school diaries, the pages are filled with hopes of becoming part of the ‘popular’ crowd. I etched diagrams of how to assimilate myself into the cool lunch table, and kept lists of observations on the popular kids. I did not care which friends I made, as long as they could up my standing in social rank. Upon entering high school, I found myself some of the best friends I could ever have, and we changed and molded with each other. I felt most like myself when I was with my friends.

My friends; I always believed that your friends are a reflection of who you are

Yet as the threat of college, and of them leaving me drew nearer, I found that I did not really know myself. Much like Siddhartha, “I was afraid of myself, I was fleeing from myself!” (Hesse 39) My friends had represented who I was, and I was proud of having them at my side, but with growing up came separation: they were going to be dispersed throughout the country, and I was to be left alone. As they slowly left me one by one, I felt “flight from [my] being” (Hesse 19); “I…lost myself in the process” (Hesse 39) and when I entered UT, I searched desperately for those scattered pieces of my previous self.

Siddhartha sought to escape the pain and lies of the world

I am willing to admit that the first semester of college for me was incredibly lonely. Despite being surrounded from friends and acquaintances from my high school and having my parents only fifteen minutes away, “the world tasted bitter.” (Hesse 16) I wanted nothing more than my best friends to come back and surround me like a protective shell.
This is where I can sympathize with Siddhartha, who also embarked in a search. He sought “freedom” (Hesse 39) and “no desire, no imitation, no attempts at being seen—only light and peace.” (Hesse 30) I interpret this peace to be a peace with oneself, which is what I sought, and what I am still seeking. It is here that I find that I relate to Buddhism the most out of all religions, because I feel as if I am also on the journey Siddhartha took. I am also looking for answers, truth, and peace.

Our relationship with religion

No matter which religion is “right”, I believe that all religions serve a common purpose: to provide hope and love in times of strife. We are like the frightened birds shivering in the cold, and religion “soothes with a touch the wild thing’s fright,/Composed its ruffled vans, calmed its quick heart,/Caressed it into peace with light kind palms.” (X240) Here is the idea of turning fear into love: in the darkest of times, a religion can offer the light that enables many people to get through their pain. Even though I do not consider myself particularly religious in the slightest, I can definitely sympathize and understand why people need religion: the knowledge of having someone or something that watches over you is very soothing, and gives people the hope they need.

Many of the upperclassmen I have talked to admitted that they were incredibly lonely in their first semesters of college. Even my mother told me that she felt the way I did upon entering college. There is comfort in knowing that I was not alone, and that these feelings are universal. Thus I understand the need for religion: people need a way to feel less alone.

Jainism vs. Kipling

We Own The Sky - M83
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A natural pool at the Barton Creek Greenbelt, one of the many trails in Austin.

This isn’t something I readily admit to people, but I really enjoy walking in the woods by myself. In Austin especially, there are plenty of trails and preserves that maintain the authenticity of nature, and even in my suburban neighborhood, I can find at least three trails that lead to springs and thickets. When I was younger, I was always outside, but with age came other responsibilities, and I have grown farther from nature than I was as a child. Age, along with increased duties and material concerns, has pulled us away from nature. Many people cannot hear the “voices of plants and animals” (X234) because they choose not to listen, or they have forgotten how.

In India, reverence for nature is extremely prevalent, especially with the cow, which “emerges as a symbolic focus for a body of metaphysical thought crystallizing in relatively modern times” (X272) and is somewhat a “symbol of the Mother Goddess” (X272). Eastern religions especially focus on the symbolism of animals, while most western religions rely on man or ideas to carry through their religion.

It may be a long time before I’m reading to “love” spiders, but at this point, I’m doing a good job of not killing them!

“The practice of ahimsa calls forth the greatest courage” (X231), that is, the courage to rid ourselves of the instinct kill and destroy, and to “love my enemy” (X231). Ahimsa practitioners are truly the extreme of displaying respect for nature, and while I cannot fathom how it can be done, I do admire their philosophy that every being on earth is precious. There have been times when I have failed to see “the beauty of the cow” (X258) and when I really wanted to step on an insect. There was always a discrepancy in my compassion for animals and my attempted compassion for insects—I just could not find it within myself to tolerate their existence. If I saw a bug, I had to squash it, sometimes without a second thought. Recently, I have been trying to reduce the “narrowness of sympathy” I harbor towards these creatures. Over the weekend, I saw a spider crawling up the side of my wall, and I had to repress the urge to slap it away. If I really inspected it, the thing was quite innocent and rather fascinating, especially as I watched it weaving its way down the wall. The spider remains living, and is most likely somewhere in my dorm today. I am not comfortable with this notion, but at least I know that we are able to coexist.

An example of the struggle between the city and the wild.

In the last class, Andrew brought up the point that we have created universities, cities, and infrastructures that are just as detrimental to animals and nature as our actions of eating meat is. Our “self-centered greed, aided and abetted by ingenious technologies [is] no longer properly restrained.” (X232) This is true; with the growth of technology, humans have exploded in their desires for the latest and most convenient amenities, and forget the consequences of their actions. Instead, “Wants should be reduced, desires curbed, and consumption levels kept within reasonable limits.” (X236)

Hunting and Imperialism

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One of my best friends has a ranch up by Kerrville, and every holiday, our group caravans to this home away from home. Upon entering the cabin, one can always expect to be greeted with the heads of various deer and even a moose, all mounted proudly and grotesquely above fireplaces and headboards. The specific reason this ranch was purchased was for hunting, and many of the animals on their property are simply waiting to die.

A scene from the movie version of The Most Dangerous Game, a short story by Richard Connell.
I see hunting as essentially killing animals for fun. There are cases in which hunting is “crucial to survive” (X170B), but the majority of North Americans hunt for recreational purposes, unless they live in places like Alaska or the northern parts of Canada. Personally, I have never agreed with hunting. It is a sport—A SPORT—to seek to end the life of something. “Pain and pleasure [are] the springs of human action” (X170H), and for those who derive pleasure from such a sick spectacle, I harbor nothing but disgust. Even more sickening to me are those who have hunted animals to the point of extinction. Perhaps a good dose of a real life The Most Dangerous Game scenario is required for humans to fully understand the monstrous absurdity they call a sport.

Pleasure and a photograph, in exchange for a life.

A large part of sports is involved with winning, but what are we winning when we hunt? Is it truly the head of an animal, “the appeal of such trophy” (X197) mounted above our fireplaces that causes us pleasure, or the knowledge that we conquered something greater than ourselves, that immeasurable greatness of nature? For many hunters, compassion for the animal is nonexistent; meanwhile, the animal itself has “nothing left but unable misery” (X215), and for what: as a new addition to the family den? A great commemorative photograph as it bleeds in the hands of its proud killer?

Tarzan: the idol of my childhood. The villain of this movie wishes not only to dominate the land, but to capture the silverback gorillas (one of them being Tarzan’s father).

The hunter’s tendency to glorify conquest and domination over an animal can be closely linked to that of one empire defeating another. “Triumphing over a dangerous animal and subduing unwilling natives” (X200) often exhibits the same attitudes towards those being conquered, such as in the case of Spanish and Portuguese imperialism in Latin America. Even Disney was able to see the connection between domination of a culture and that of an animal, as seen by the movie Tarzan (I highly recommend this movie, if not for the catchy songs, then for the awesome way in which Tarzan surfs the trees). And in Africa and Asia, natives were, “in addition to laziness and insubordination…frequently accused of cowardice” (X204).

A depiction of the Portuguese enslavement in the 18th century

The common thought of these natives as a lesser species or race, which thus justified the imperialist countries to treat them as such, is reflected in the way people treat animals. We often see them as less intelligent, less able, and on the whole less deserving at life than us, thus treating them with disrespect and cruelty. We validate hunting animals because “it’s all in good fun” and because we think they are here to serve us, just as Portugal rationalized the enslavement of a society because of differences.

Fear vs. Love

When I was a child, I was terrified of all insects. The most disturbing thing about them was not their appearance, but their unpredictable movements. Often times, I found myself in a stare down with a creepy-crawly, then screaming and flapping my hands as it suddenly flew towards my face.

Even grasshoppers, one of the most innocent of insects, terrified me.

One afternoon, as I sat building a hill out of a mound of dirt, I was horrified to see a grasshopper land on my arm. But this grasshopper did not display signs of ill intent, in fact, it was missing a leg. Was this grasshopper not just “a man like me?” (X145) I actually felt pity for this poor creature, which only wanted a resting point. It did not land purposefully on my arm because it knew I would be alarmed. “Can I see another’s woe, and not be in sorrow too?” (X142)

Love – is it the answer to everything?

“I remember a land where all were good” (X164), but because diversity and evolution, fear has shaped and transformed our society. There is still “good” in this world, but it is preceded by fear and lack of understanding. In regards to “fear vs. love”, I don’t necessarily associate love, but understanding as being the solution to ending fear. The way to battle fear is understanding, and of course, the omniscient idea of compassion. Only with understanding and compassion can come the eventual love, and a way to conquer any preexisting notions. This has been shown in various cases, from religious and racial intolerance, to the relationship between humans and animals.

Robert Frost wrote many poems regarding nature, and explores the relationship between man and nature.

The Most of It, a poem by Robert Frost, explains the dependence between man and nature. What is the source of nature, he asks? The natural world does not share our human sentiments, and man is insignificant and powerless compared to nature. Yet many seem to think that nature can be a source of cruelty and fear. I disagree: cruelty is a choice, and nature cannot choose. “Cruelty has a human heart, and jealousy a human face” (X146). I associate jealousy, hatred, and evil with humans, for it is not nature’s choice to do something; it is “that way for a reason.” (X159) For example, many carnivores “are not idle predators; when they kill, they kill to eat” (X154), whereas it is a sport in the human world to kill.

Jesus and Vegetarianism

Many Eastern religions show mercy to animals

I am not particularly well versed in Western religions, because I do not really identify with them. However, I have always found it fascinating that many Eastern religions include animals into their beliefs and practices. The Bible says to “love thy neighbor”, but many wonder “who is my neighbor” (X130)? Does the definition of a “neighbor” extend to animals? Western religions seem to focus more on the human rather than life as a whole, and it is difficult to see “Jesus’ special concern for the animal world.” (X136), for much literature is dedicated to “the fellow man”.

The One Who Showed Mercy

However, the Bible says “Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful” (X129), which I interpret as being merciful to all beings. While I do not practice any form of Christianity, I believe that this philosophy is a decent way to live life, as it is pervasive in all religions.
I would like to imagine that when Jesus referred to “all strife and suffering” (X135), he was also including that of animals and of nature. However, modern interpretation has not really paid much attention to the extension of this notion to animals, evident in the fact that most western religions disregard the suffering of animals and plants. At this point, I do not think our culture would allow us to accept that Jesus was a vegetarian.

Does Jesus’ love extend to animals? Does it matter?

Regardless of whether or not Jesus was indeed a vegetarian, I do not think that in this day and age, such an argument would change many people’s minds, because “meat eating is already ritualized in our culture” (X135). Was Jesus a vegetarian? I don’t think it really matters. Many people have already succeeded in doing things that Jesus would not tolerate, such as “ slaughtering and destroying others” (X137), so I don’t see what difference the revelation of his vegetarianism would bring. No matter what, I believe that most people are selectively religious, that is, they pick out parts of their religion with which they agree and ignore other parts. So if it were found out that Jesus was a vegetarian, I don’t think many people would make the switch from meat to nonmeat, simply because they may believe that they are serving their religion in other better ways.

Disgrace

Witness the healing power of nature!

In the book Disgrace, David Lurie finds a “redeeming sense of compassion” (X75) from his experience at an animal clinic, where he helps end the lives of diseased and unwanted dogs. His past is riddled with sexual crimes and hapless circumstances, yet this experience at the animal clinic seems to heal him. I have written in the past of the power of nature, and I truly believe that there exists a healing component in nature.

Nature is not necessarily a “world at peace” (X123), but it is the closest that we, as humans, can come to being able to rid ourselves of the “old wickedness” (X123), or the manmade evils in the world. Only in nature can we find and satisfy our internal need for peace by “giving oneself to the world, or to an idea of the world.” (X87) It requires that we shed our human worries and egotistical thoughts, instead giving wholly to the one thing that always gives to us.

Nature requires from us reverence and passivity. It is a chance for us to watch and listen, to be at peace inside instead of our usual impulse to be racing from one thing to the next.

Babe is an example of the enduring relationship between humans and animals.

Most of all, nature needs us to love. This can be most apparent in our relationship with animals, for example, Lurie’s experience with the animals he kills: “He has learned by now, from her, to concentrate all his attention on the animal they are killing, giving it what he no longer has difficulty in calling by its proper name: love.” (X91) There is a certain amount of humility and self-deprecation that nature requires from us, and in our love for animals, we can truly find the pure and unadulterated love that we so long for.

How can you say no to these puppies?

In regards to pets, I find that it is one of the greatest tests of the human’s capacity to be empathetic and responsible. A pet is something that is entirely dependent on you—a domestic dog cannot feed itself if you do not put its food out, and a cat cannot quench its thirst if you do not give it water. A pet gives itself to its owner, serving him or her with loyalty, love, and faith, and the owner must reciprocate by giving the pet the best life possible. While separated by different languages, thought patterns, and physical abilities, the owner and his or her pet are connected by love, and a mutual duty to serve each other.

This video, called Christian the Lion, shows the enduring love between humans and an animal of seemingly dangerous demeanor.

P3 - Tolerance, Compassion, and Emotional Intelligence

Rip Her to Shreds by Blondie

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I have come to realize that a majority of my time could be spent complaining about my roommate. My gripes include her slow, muted speech, the baby-like way in which she speaks, her lazy, sloth-like movements, and most of all, her inability to get off the bed and do something other than peruse Facebook on her computer. Even as I type this, I see her click listlessly through pictures in a prom album, and I feel my nose crinkle in disgust.

[1] Da Vinci’s image of a perfect human being is only half of what I have in mind.

I have always had an impossibly high expectation of what a human should be. However, this desire for perfection slowly began to mutate in high school, until I found myself analyzing people, making reasons for why they failed my model of a worthy person, brushing away potential suitors for superficial reasons such as a fragile chin or an inadequate knowledge in film. I felt empowered because of my superior mental development, and by my strict adherence to the qualities of a human that I believed to be advanced. I spurned others dismissively and deemed them unworthy based on trifling characteristics that did not even speak for the kind of person they were.

Now, an older and wiser me realizes that this behavior not only prevents me from having meaningful relationships, but it makes me what I never wanted to be: intolerant and judgmental. This led to me to question the cause of my behavior: what had made me this way? I was raised on values of acceptance and friendliness, not hate and contempt, yet those undeniably strong feelings of self-worth had transformed the way I looked at the world. The person I was being was one whom I did not wish to be: I never dreamed of looking into crowds of people and immediately judging them.


[2] West Ridge Middle School, where my intolerance was born.

I discovered that my intolerance was born as a defense mechanism, a way to scorn those who had been intolerant of me. In middle school, I was tormented for being different and odd. My hatred of those who were “normal” and unlike me transformed because of insecurities within myself. Even as I continue to grow and mature, I find that there are still traces of intolerance within me. Ironically, narrow-mindedness regarding race, gender, sexual preference, and religion renders me into fury, yet I am guilty this very same crime towards not a specific group of people, but humans in general. My intolerance reeks of pride and of a shallow and cowardly method of self-preservation.

Often, I listen through selective listening, that is, listening to hear what I expect to hear. This is also true of my perception of the world: my presumption made me see what I expected to see, so I was not surprised or disappointed, only self-justified—another defense mechanism, another way for me to shield myself from the world. In my head, I rarely give people a chance, similar to how the humans eschew chickenheads in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? What I need is to practice empathetic listening, that is, “listening with intent to understand…seeking first to understand, to really understand.” [3]

[4] For this potion, we will need compassion and patience, with a touch of emotional intelligence.

My solution is to be found in a mixture that I will deem as “tolerance”, and it must be comprised half of compassion and half of patience, two traits that make up what I believe to be tolerance, at its core. I must seek to understand first and be understood later. I must allow people to show me what they have to offer, rather than judge them based on what I think they have to offer. Most importantly, I must find it within myself to learn to love and sympathize without distracting thoughts barring me from the possibility of discovering everyone’s ability to be amazing.



[5] Learning to be a good listener has never proved more difficult.

My first plan of action was to learn empathy. I decided to listen to people without judgment; instead I attempted, with each word they said, to look at the world as they saw it. This was nothing short of exhausting, for I found myself hanging on to every word and rolling it around on my own tongue. As a result, I noticed the increased enthusiasm and appreciation that alighted from my test subjects, for they could see genuine comprehension and identification in my face: they elicited a sincere, engaged response from me, not just the automatic “yeah”, “uh-huh”, or “right”. With this practice, instead of hearing the things my friends said and judging them for it, I was appreciating their words and trying to make their experience my own. The stony marble that was my intolerance had begun to chip away.

The second part of my transformation involved the full embodiment of compassion, and I needed to apply it to the one person of whom I was most intolerant: my roommate. One of my greatest sources of fury with her is the thunderous plucking of keys that emanates from her laptop long after I have gone to bed. Nightly, I lie in bed, seething with anger as I hear the “tap, tap, tap” of her instant messaging, tossing my comforter in annoyance and sighing pointedly. Countless times, I have imagined jerking out of bed and shouting at her until her face is reduced to naught but a slick plate of tears.


[6] This baby’s terrifying anger is very much akin to what I felt.

Last night was no different: I was in bed by twelve o’clock, having spent the night hurrying from obligation to obligation, and having managed to finish all of my homework in a satisfactory manner. My roommate, meanwhile, had lane in bed all day, skipped her first two classes, and was still chatting away on instant messenger and clicking through Facebook. I felt myself quailing with imminent rage.

Sure enough, her typing did not cease, nor did she make any effort to be less loud. I felt my fists clench, and the scream that I knew was inevitable began to build up in my throat. This was when I forced myself to remember that each human is just as emotionally complex as me, and like me, they only wish to be understood. Shouting and throwing things would be no use, and hurling biting insults at her would only satisfy the hurtful part of me. Instead, I sat up calmly, and rationally explained to her how bothersome her late night actions were. I tried to extend as much compassion as possible, by telling her that I understood she needed to talk to her friends. Finally, I offered a conciliatory solution of her having more awareness of my sleeping needs, and being quieter or going to sleep earlier.

The decision I made to extend my emotional sympathy, I feel, has served me for the better. Not only did I come out victorious, but I also came out of the situation maintaining a high head and all my humanity. This experience is the beginning of my increased awareness to the emotions of those around me.


[7] Compassion is one of the key elements of being a human.

The change has not been easy. My intolerance and judgment have been so ingrained, so subconscious, that it comes with everything I do. In the future, tolerance and the emotional sympathy required of it, is one of the most important traits I will need to be successful, for regardless of the career I choose, I will be working with people of all types. If I shunned everyone because I was intolerant of his or her intelligence level, mannerisms, or interests, I would be very hard pressed to find a satisfying work environment. In the workplace, it is extremely important to tolerate someone even if you do not enjoy his or her company, because it is all about the team, not the individual. Instead, in the future, I must make a conscious effort to extend my emotional intelligence, most of all to the people with whom I do not agree. I do not see this as a compromise of my own beliefs, but as a way to be an emotionally informed human being.

Word Count: 1400

[1] Live Science. .
[2] Picasa Web Albums. .
[3] Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2004.
[4] Tennis Planet. .
[5] Harvard Literary Blog. .
[6] Cool Free Images. .
[7] Real Food Tulsa. .